by Sasha Vasilou
Abstract: To prove that spectral pain is not only one’s own. But why am I the only one who can see the phantom branches on the family tree?
Keywords: intergenerational trauma, multigenerational memory, emotional specters, misplaced burials, falling heir to deathless ghosts
Jita never said what happened to him; no one asked. Grandma saved every piece of everything; I knew to not ask why. Mom’s habits are the same; I hope I don’t inherit them. familiar
A stack of estate papers, legal notices, water-damage and mold, nothing from before 1942. heirlooms
Google Translate: English – detected: no one taught us japanese
Japanese: 私の日本語はとてもkanashiiです. language
Heading 1: Developmental History of Hauntings
Put the past on mute.
Let it linger.
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder – Intentional Human Design is an inherited condition. Hypothalamic-pituitary adrenocortical (HPA) axis will remind you later. Don’t worry. It won’t forget.
Heading 2: Unconscious Factors of Collective Amnesia
Maybe if we pretend it’s fine it will be fine.
Don’t look back. It’s too awful.
It should come as no surprise that the neglected child has learned how to neglect. It should come as no surprise that cultural amputation begets dysfunction. It should come as no surprise that Jita’s amnesia has become mine.
Heading 3: Attachment Theory of the Third Generation
Deny to dissociate to split to project to pass the hauntings along.
The third generation’s memory is living and lost. The disturbing unconscious opaque memories of generations before condensed in me. I am facing backward looking for the answer for why I feel a fishhook in my spine. I see those phantom limbs swaying in an old breeze.
Maybe at home, I can save us.