By Rachel Fenton

I stand in the intersections of my marginalized identities, black and female, as I watch the progression of the Covid-19 vaccinations roll out.

I sit behind the screen as I watch

friends, clinicians, professionals of all kinds,

post receipts of their vaccinations online with pride.

In the same breath, I watch the disproportionate statistics of how few black and brown bodies receive the vaccine in comparison to their white counterparts.

I stand in the intersection of scientific progression and ancestral oppression.

I stand in the intersection of psychology and American citizenship.

I listen to the prevalent message to vaccinate.

I watch, I read, I listen—and yet, with every post, every article, every recommendation, I feel uneasy.

                  Something within my soul is unsettled.

I hear the voices, and I hear the suggestions, and as the push to get vaccinated rings louder with each passing day, the United States’ history of structural oppression against these very same bodies, the bodies that served as a testing ground for their experiments is becoming more silenced.

In my black body

I hear the voices of condemnation and mocking if I were to not receive the vaccine.

Those who are well meaning say, this is nothing like the Tuskegee experiment

this is not a target to black and brown bodies

we are all receiving the vaccine

we all win

we’re all receiving the same vaccine

we’re all equal!

Nothing could be farther from the truth.

A collective fear in a deadly virus

 a vaccination receipt

does not erase the USA’s history of structuralized racial inequality.

            It. Does. Not. Erase. The. USA’s. History. Of. Structuralized. Racial. Inequality.

To hold onto such a reductionist viewpoint—a fantasy—is a disservice for those who are still living in fear

in their black and brown bodies.

Medical professionals are quick to mock those who are hesitant to receive the vaccination.

This elitism penetrates every aspect of the healthcare system.

Physicians are quick to mock the “conspiracy theories”—as though they are all the same

Yet remain slow to confront the roots from where they may stem.

Scientific evidence, the proof that the vaccination is safe and effective, is easy.

What good is proof without acknowledgement of the same proof, the science, that was used to degrade and dehumanize?

A disproportionate demographic representation of individuals used in clinical trials to prove the safety and efficacy of the vaccination.

Medical gaslighting

            causes black or brown bodies

to question their hesitation.

I am disappointed with psychology.

With the community’s response to the vaccine.

By falling in unquestionable line with the medical community with little to no attention to the power of collective fear based in historical reality.

COVID trauma does not erase historic racial trauma.

I am an African American woman

beginning a career in psychology.

If you hold the idea that a black or brown individual is misinformed

“stupid,”

 crazy

for not receiving the vaccine

do you think they will express their opinions to you as a patient?

The solution is not in a headline

                                    !!black health care professionals receive vaccine!!

    !! black woman helped to develop vaccine!!

Sit in it for a little while.

Before we realize the solution is acknowledging

The

reason

is

racism.

Racism is what causes my hesitation to even share my perspective as a black woman

because of the “angry black woman” stereotype

Racism is what causes me and many others to remain silent in the face of racialized oppression

                                    I am pulled to differentiate race and racism.

Race is a social construct.

A hierarchical system that the USA has used for centuries to maintain inequity.

There is no biological foundation to race.

Racism is the product of race.

It is a nonsensical system.

Favoring certain communities over others.

We report on diabetes and cardiovascular disorders

but fail to acknowledge the racist practices that create the conditions that make this possible.

Our system is broken.

We’ve attempted to patch up a deep and festering wound.

                                                It never heals

We need to change the operating structure

Vaccination endeavors in black and brown communities have to be approached differently.

To help patients

we need to decolonize our minds

we need to be antiracist.

!!Get uncomfortable!!

                                                Acknowledge. Your. Racial. Biases

                                    !! Be intentional!!

Address ways in which praxis in healthcare neglects black and brown bodies.

Get on with a radical examination.

Take a liberatory approach that is oriented towards the marginalized

We can’t go

            from point A

to point Z

without handling America’s very lethal history of racialized oppression.

A successful fight of this pandemic will require the USA’s confrontation of the racial epidemic that’s prevailed for far too long.

Change cannot come forth without trust

A fruitful fight will take an instillation of trust within black and brown communities

Working towards a resolve means that we must eradicate racism!!

The USA’s longest standing virus